Love

i have loved you with all my heart and love in me and i still messed up i cant keep hurting something so beautiful and pure i cant see you cry and hear you curse my name. i wish one day you can forgive me and let my soul rest. but till that time im ment to walk alone and watch from a distance and know i hurt you. we do things not knowing the pain or the effect we have and life we change. love is the most powerful drug known to man it can make a us do crazy things to get or keep.



chi

awake

is it wrong to want to stay in our dream world?
cuz thats when i have you and everything is ok.
i cant stay awake and miserable.
i want to sleep and feel your body warmth next to mine.
i miss playing with your hair and smelling your body
between the sheets.
is it wrong to say i love you in my head and wish your
without me and happy?
in my dreams you actually love and want to be with me.
i miss and urn for that so much. im so sorry for letting you
go and hurting you.
but you let me walk out that door.
come to think about it i dont dream anymore i havent for months?

Heal the wounds

I cried and cried and tried and cried i cant keep something that must go.
I know my heart will break but i must let you go.

confused

i dont know what up from down. whats right from wrong.
i cant see whats infront of me and whats hurting me.
did it hurt when i seen your smile and i was with another?
i cant stay and say i can stay.


chi

Blank..

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the
Words i still want to say
but cant see or find them.
so ill tell you when i mustard up
the strength.

chi

HAVE TO SAY WHEN....

I cant keep thinking my time will be used well i have to stop and think why>?
i have to see whats important and let it go to see what more i can do.
i cant anymore...
so i have to say when?

a new home.

Today i went with my brother to look at an old old job i did. Well one i helped at i use to be in construction before the market went bad. I loved it building something from the ground up it was amazing and so beautiful(that sounded gay) seeing something from ground up to a finished project. It kinda hit me in a soft spot(my balls) i miss it. It just makes me want to build my own and have a new home!!

poet.

its easy to rhyme and try to make sense of those rhymes but harder not to and find the same meaning in words. its like a jigsaw puzzle and we are the pieces.

Einstein
""Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.""

every one fell for it although they dont know why or for how long.
Love is a crazy thing to come by, but the life and reason you chose is
worth it if you understand why?


chi

A comment to another writer.

They say the most strongest muscle is the heart. Beating 72 times a minute, 24/7 till the end. Knowing that Einstein used about 11 to 13 percent of his mind and the average human only uses 7 to 10 if that. So why is it so easy to break a heart then a mind? Our eyes dont help the cause of what hurts us or fixes us. Through all this we depend on a lil word called love we want it so and yet have no control.

chi

night.

well being alone without you by my side wasnt how i planned the night.
but i needed to see if i can go without you. i cant but i wont go back
i can sleep alone anymore but you pushed me out at night.
why can you see i need you and you need me.
well i want to wish you the sweetest dreams and a good night.



chi.

Morning

Ah my head hurts just so many thoughts that i cant speak or see happen.

END

Today is the end to the end
but a beginning to the end and
i cant keep hurting you and
you hurting me. The end
is the end and the end of the
beginning.

chi

Why Life?

Life is something false something true something confusing.
Why is knowledge so hard to come by why cant we just
know. why do we feel why do care of others or thoughts that cant
be explain. Life is a test and we chose to live it and go from there.
Music and love and art is apart to feel and cope with life.
why life and why us why do we feel
why wont we feel and why cant we
see, see the truth is infront of us.
life is life. so why life?



chi

THIS IS MY ANGEL SHE HAS MY HEART AND SOUL I WILL NEVER FORGET HER FOR AS LONG AS I LIVE. TOO BAD I CANT HOLD HER AND LET HER KNOW THAT. BUT THE MEMORIES I HAVE AND WILL ALWAYS KEEP MEAN THE WORLD TO ME. THE THINGS I WOULD TELL HER. THE JOKES WE WOULDA HAD. BABY GIRL I WILL ALWAYS MISS AND LOVE YOU NO WORRIES I WILL ALWAYS HAVE YOU IN MY HEART. TAKE CARE AND REST IM WATCHING YOUR FAM NOW.



CHI

living off the wall..

how can i say what i mean when what i mean i cant say?
touch me talk to me but dont hurt me. i hurt you yes but im trying and it hurts.
just smile and forget that will help but what can i help with?
build our love with me cuz i broke it down in the first place.
forgive and forget or else dont say you do.
forgive me.


chi

A Choice

I chose to end it.
Its been a happy six months.
longer then most. :.>
i guess you can say we were destined for greatness.
Well you for the most part.
My smile was your, and only yours.
I did hurt and i got hurt.
I cant hurt anymore.
A smile was once their, and now a frown appears.
The star still shines, for all time.



chi

coffee

is it wrong to have good coffee with a friend?
my intention were good i talked about you!
for a sec i thought of only you and hurt her feelings.
i dont care what anyone says im going to be me.
I just cant belive its wrong when you are always right.
im done feeling sorry for thinkg of you.

and that coffee was good. it didnt burn me.



chi

80's rock

the words were so much simpler when it was in the 80's no hide-in messages
just i love you and your not there or i hurt you too much.
the words will always be there and the songs are example of it.
80's rock always let you know how you really felt.
sad happy and confused but yet the meaning is there.
and will never be misunderstood.
babe i love air supply sings and its all there.
listen before judge.


chi

Eyes

Listen well.
Speak no evil see no evil hear no evil.
when it comes to you evil i dont see just
confused. when i comes to me i like evil.
from left to right up to down i know
i think its fun to cause a lil trouble.
but when i see them
BIG BROWN EYES
i cant see evil.

So i just watched about ten fifteen videos about lasers and laser pointers. wow they mod them all to actually burn and mess shit up.
It was crazy i didnt think it would work that good but i was really surprised i think i will do one. lets see how much trouble i can get into.



chi

it goes without saying.

I cant stay here and wait for you to want me.
I dont want to put down and expect to say sorry to you.
Im trying for us and your trying for you.
I cant still be here waiting in the rain for that dance,
when your inside clean and happy.
It goes without saying.
I JUST WANT YOU.



CHI

i just dont know what to say i try and try and want to give up but yet i cant.
i feel as i should give you so much more.
but when you speck it reminds me of why?
why? why should i still stick in there when you dont want me to, why still put of up with you.
im not the saint i know i did my dirt but why should you still put up with it?
im sorry and i feel like i must let you go and find your happyness.
i just dont know what to say i try and try and what you give me i cant.

chi

soft skin

I havent felt your soft skin in months and it hurts.
The tan against my course skin ah i how i miss that.
Ill be yours till you ask me too but dont take my warmth away,
im cold inside and out.
Why cant i feel your soft skin?


chi-

ahh

Really this isnt a POST im just done.

i dont know what to say or do.

the more i do the more i loss.

Im just at a loss for words.

...... but one...

...AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

CHI

still no beat.

Seeing you woulda started.

but nothing.

being in your arms shoulda started.

but nothing

holding you hold me

and yet nothing.

still no beat.

chi

Change

Change is good.
Change is bad.
But at least you change for you.
Plz change for you or you wont like it.
But the smile shows your happier with change.
so im happy with change.




chi.

PUSH!

PRAY

UNTIL

SOMETHING

HAPPENS!

CHI

pray

how do you pray when you have nothing and your heart is gone and filled with nothing. are you alive can you feel my pain? how could you say you need me when you cant feel or even know what you want? FRIENDS OR FOE?? what do you consider me? you hold your friends higher then me and you forgot what i said and how i try and I DO....... i pray. does that help or should i PUSH?

up hill battle.

GO!!!

& they are off both headed in the same direction.

But one thought the way was right.

It was wrong why cant you see.

Your not going to win. even if you try your hardest,

your not meant to win. hahahaha!!! why cant you hear lol.

aka Loosed Over aLl.

The hill is high and he will win.

But why did you even try, he didnt want you.

It hurts but this wasnt suppose to be your race.

He specks softly go find your WIN.

why didnt you see sooner.

chi

Same

You say you look different but i see the same.

New one on the block but still think he the same.

You say you cut your hair buts its still the same.

The room looks the same when you say you moved it.

The beat can be change but the song still the same.

The movie was remade but still same plot.

You dress nicer but act the same.

You still are SAME.

chi

confusion.

Not knowing what to do next is complicated but most of all confusing
Im lost im own words and thoughts.
I had everything but really had nothing.
Now i want it all back and in my mind want nothing.
What do i tell my heart when its been waiting to beat for so long?
Do i hide him or put him on my sleeves to get hurt, or hurt someone?
But there is always hope and i feel my heart noticing it.
It Wont be long for all this to make sense!



chi

Up late.

Its funny when i stay up late.

Sometime i loss my mind and sometimes i find it.

From old friends to new ones.

Or just the ones in my head.

But not being able to sleep well,

Thats a game in itself.

See if writing will make sense in the light.

chi.

HATE!!!

Why I.S. i hate me?

Why i cant hate me?

You tell me whats to hate?

Tell me i should hate.

I need to hate.

Come and hate me.

Everyone hates.

Why cant you hate me?

I.S. I HATE ME?

chi.

Talk.

How do you talk when your voice makes no noise.

What makes a conversation?

Just because someone can talk and is talkative,

does that make it more sensible or less?

People have conversations with those who dont

understand or speak the same language.

For a conversation to work you need both sides to

be willing to listen first,then react upon understanding.

How do you talk when your noise makes no voice?

chi

Ring.

What does a ring represent?
With all the coasts of a ring how far will we really pay for one?
Do we really need it or is it a safety blanket?
We wear rings to feel beautiful and apart of something.
And it can also build a bond.

Im Yours

How do we stop from being loved?

To those who dont know that we love them.

Im yours wether you like it or not.

Its kinda hard not to.

Dont hold it against me just hold me.

chi

depression

it hurts so much

why do i let it there?

who can i blame?

tell me not to listen

and ill tell you to stop talking

depression did you or did i?

who put who there and why?

stop yelling she didnt mean it.

it hurts so much

chi